when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I intend to get homeless drunk
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
