I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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