I heard we made out
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
