last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
