you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
