We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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