Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize