Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
