none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
