lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
