shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
