Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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