ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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