I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
