I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Success! We fucked roommates!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
