He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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