Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize