I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
