You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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