I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I deserve this hangover.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
