I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize