sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
