so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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