is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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