so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
