i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
