i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
