just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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