She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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