I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
