I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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