Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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