You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
