dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
