I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
