When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize