I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
