I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
