Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
