So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
