I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
