So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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