i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
