I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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