Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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