She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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