Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She's like a pop up book from hell.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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