is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
