BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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