Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
