ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
