Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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