Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
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who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
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So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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