I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i wish my penis had a tongue
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
