I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
