I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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