She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
oh god was she eating orange peels again
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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