I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
