You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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